The Singeing of Crispin Cherrybutt (Part Two)

Part two: Crispin and the Kingdom of the Ants

Crispin had managed to put as much distance as he could between himself and the lair of that terrible fire breathing dragon which had so cruelly flame toasted his handsome, but now very sore, young behind. However, there was still a long way to go.

Even by travelling day and night, there was a long arduous ride ahead for Crispin to get back to his home town. Yet he was desperate to get there as soon as possible, so that he could consult the apothecary, in the hope that the wise old man could provide some cooling and soothing cream or balm for his scorched bottom. His muscles were tiring, and he was finding it increasingly difficult to to keep his burning behind raised off the hard and sun ray heated leather saddle, and he knew he could not manage to do so for much longer.

Frantic to get home and to some relief, he angrily urged his horse to move faster with a series of slaps, kicks and furious commands, yelled directly into the poor beast's ear.

They now had to cross miles of open and parched desert, where the heat was becoming unbearable and the heated saddle was now painful to touch even without a singed bottom. Given the increasing discomfort, Crispin was anxious to cross the desert and reach higher, cooler, land as soon as possible.

“Faster, you lazy brute!” he shouted kicking hard against the horse's flank, and slapping it hard on the neck “If you don't more faster, I will feed your carcass to the King's hunting hounds when we get home!” he cried.

The young horse, had already developed a strong dislike for his cruel and abusive young owner, long before they had embarked on the latest journey, and it was becoming more and more irritated by the shouts and blows which Crispin was inflicting upon it. The grumpy steed was reluctant to move any faster in the exhausting heat, at least not whilst carrying such an uncomfortable burden.

The animal therefore concluded that the preferable solution would be to eject the hated burden at the earliest opportunity. 

Crispin was an experienced rider, but he was distracted by the burning pain in his bottom, and was not expecting the hose to suddenly kick back with its hind legs and violently buck it's back, throwing it's rider up into the air, before galloping away, and leaving the young knight plummeting, bottom first, towards the ground.

Click on the READ MORE tab below to continue:

As luck would have it Crispin landed on a mound of earth which gave way beneath his weight, cushioning his fall and causing his bottom to slip into a dip beneath him. At first it seemed that he had encountered his first bit of good luck that day as the crumbling earth had softened what would otherwise have been a hard and painful landing.

However, then he realised that, rather than landing in a dip in the earth, his bottom had actually broken through the roof of an ant dug chamber beneath and he was effectively sitting in a hole in the earth. Then it dawned on him what the structure he had landed in actually was. To his horror he realised he had landed bare ass first into a fire ant hill. The fire ants of that ancient land truly lived up to their name, although tiny, their bite was ferocious and exuded a powerful fire like venom causing a searing and throbbing pain which could last for hours and sometimes, if you were really unlucky, for days.

Crispin had been bitten by a fire ant once as a child, and he had no wish to repeat the experience. He attempted to spring to his feet, but found he could not, he was stuck with his bottom wedged into a tight hole and thrust into an underground chamber of an ant hill.

For a moment he hoped that perhaps the ant hill had been abandoned and that he was in fact stuck in an empty ant hill. However, that hope was swiftly proved wishful thinking as he felt the fist tickling sensation of tiny insect feet on his dragon toasted skin.

He knew what was coming before it came, and in a frantic panic he struggled to free himself, pushing against the crumbling earth and kicking his legs in the air. However, this merely resulted in wedging him even more tightly into the hole which his landing had created.

The first ant bite was like a new sheet of flame burning his skin as if the dragon was in the hole beneath him blowing its fiery breath upwards at its chosen target. A second and third ant bit followed and each had the same effect as the last one. Each fierce little insect clamping its jaws into his his tender scorched skin and unleashing it burning poison into the young knight's already punished posterior.

Crispin's piercing screams of agony rang round the empty desert, but as his mount had already vanished at full gallop over the horizon, their was no sentient creature, save ants to hear them.

 

Finally, after what seemed like an age, the brittle earth began to give way, and by straining his every youthful muscle, was able to free himself. He jumped up, and ran through the desert, the sun baked sand burning the soles of his bare feet as he went. However, that pain was as nothing next to the burning fire in his dragon scorched and ant bitten bottom, which, for Chrispin was now at the very centre of a world of pain.

The fire in his rump had hardly eased at allwhen, many hours of painful walking later, and as night began to fall, he reached the edge of the desert.

He trudge for another mile or so, and then realised he was totally lost, unsure if he was even heading in the right direction. As the fear he would never find his way home began to grip him, be became aware of a light in the distance. 

 He walked towards that light, and as he rounded a small hill he could see the silhouette of a large building, standing out against the night sky. From the burning torch outside the large wooden door, it was clear the building was occupied … with humans. People who might be able to help him, people who may have ointments, oils and balms which could extinguish the fire in his behind.

As he limped towards the building, his spirits began to lift in the hope that he had found sanctuary and that his nightmare was finally over.

TO BE CONTINUED