Showing posts with label burnt bottom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label burnt bottom. Show all posts

Saturday, 9 March 2019

The Singeing of Crispin Cherrybutt (Part One)

The Singeing of Crispin Cherrybutt
 

Part one: Our Hero's Buns get Toasted
  
In a time long ago, and in a land far away, there lived a handsome young Knight. Fair of face and blessed with a fit and lithe young body, he was, at first sight, everything a romantic novelist, or a teller of noble tails would dream of. However, he may have possessed physical beauty, but that was were his fairy fairy tail qualities ended. In addition to dashing good looks, a Romantic Hero must have other many virtues, such as nobility, integrity, honour, chivalry and kindness, in all these areas, the young Knight was sorely lacking.

In his own mind however, he was near perfect, all that was needed he believed, was for others to know it too.

Not only was Crispin Cherrybutt the handsomest knight in the land, he was determined to prove himself to be the bravest, and he would do so by slaying the fearsome dragon which had been terrorising the local countryside.

Many brave nights had tried before him without success, but arrogant young Crispin was convinced that he would be the one to succeed where others had failed. It was with this pride and the conviction of his own superiority, that he had set out on his quest.

It had been a long journey to reach the Dragon's layer, but it would be worth it, as he stood outside the entrance to the cave where the terrible creature had made its nest, he paused to contemplate the tributes and honours he would receive when he returned with the dragon's head on the end of a pike. He was also sure he would receive a fortune in gold from the king and, in addition he it would be his right to deflower all the loveliest maidens in the kingdom.

Other knights had travelled to this same destination seeking honour and also to rid the land of a terrible menace. However, such altruistic considerations did not occur to Chrispin, he thought only of the wealth, acclaim and sexual pleasuring which success would bring him.

Yes, he thought, he would be a hero when he returned with such a trophy.
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